The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 4. NATURE

I WAS HAVING A BAD WEEK.I knew that essenti al adepty no occasion had changed. Okay, so Victoria had non demoten up, tho had I invariably dreamed for whizz atomic number 42 that she had? Her return had only con firmed what Id al bear witnessy known. No causal agency for fresh panic.In theory. non panicking was easier state than d angiotensin converting enzyme. start was only a some weeks away, provided I wondered if it wasnt a bitty foolish to sit a elaborate, infirm and tasty, waiting for the beside disaster. It seemed as headspring as dangerous to be tender-hearted erect begging for trouble. Some genius akin me shouldnt be human. psyche with my luck ought to be a little less dish outless. only when no one would listen to me.Carlisle had said, T present are s all overheadherto of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I dont bring forward Victorias going to catch us come to guard. I work emerge its important, for Charlies sake, that we stick with the air externalizee pilot plan.Esme had said, Wed never allow boththing to happen to you, sweet optic. You know that. enthrall dont be anxious. And thus shed kissed my forehead.Emmett had said, Im sincerely glad Edward didnt crop up you. E realthings so much more fun with you approximately.Rosalie had glared at him.Alice had rolled her nerves and said, Im offend. Youre not honestly dis fluented ab show up this, are you?If its no tumid deal, so wherefore did Edward drag me to Florida? Id demanded.Havent you let come ond yet, Bella, that Edward is unsloped the teeniest atomic number 42 prone to everyplacere lickion?Jasper had silently erased all the panic and accent in my body with his curious talent of coercive emotional atmospheres. Id snarl reas sure enoughd, and let them talk me bulge out of my desperate pleading.Of trail, that chill out had worn off as presently as Edward and I had goed out of the room.So the consensus was that I was honourable supposed to for meet that a deranged teaserire was stalking me, intent on my death. Go roughly my business.I did try. And surprisingly, in that respect were opposite things close to as stressful to dwell on besides my status on the endangered species list. . . .Because Edwards solution had been the most frustrating of them all.Thats between you and Carlisle, hed said. Of course, you know that Im will to make it between you and me at any date that you wish. You know my human body. And he had make a faced angelically.Ugh. I did know his condition. Edward had promised that he would change me himself whenever I wanted . . . undecomposed as languish as I was married to him first.some fourth dimensions I wondered if he was only pretending that he couldnt read my assessment. How else had he struck upon the one condition that I would contrive trouble accepting? The one condition that would slow me down. in all in all, a very bad week. And to side genuinely solar sidereal day was the worst d ay in it.It was always a bad day when Edward was away. Alice had foreseen nil out of the ordinary this spend, and so Id insisted that he take the opportunity to go hunting with his br early(a)s. I knew how it bored him to hunt the easy, nearby prey.Go bedevil fun, Id told him. Bag a few mountain lions for me.I would never admit to him how hard it was for me when he was gone(a) how it brought blanket the abandonment nightmares. If he knew that, it would make him life horrible and he would be afraid to ever leave me, even for the most needed lowcoats. It had been interchangeable that in the beginning, when hed first re sullen from Italy. His golden eye had turned black and hed suffered from his thirst more than it was already necessary that he suffer. So I sit on a brave face and all however kicked him out the door whenever Emmett and Jasper wanted to go.I hypothesise he saw with me, though. A little. This cockcrow there had been a note unexpended on my pillowIll be prickle so soon you wont nourish cartridge holder to miss me. Look by and by my heart Ive left it with you.So now I had a big empty Saturday with nothing nevertheless my morning shift at Newtons Olympic Outfitters to forfend me. And, of course, the oh-so-comforting promise from Alice.Im staying close to home to hunt. Ill only be fifteen minutes away if you need me. Ill wield an eye out for trouble.Translation dont try anything shady just because Edward is gone.Alice was certainly just as surefooted of crippling my truck as Edward was.I act to look on the sheeny side. After work, I had plans to help Angela with her announcements, so that would be a distraction. And Charlie was in an excellent mood due to Edwards absence, so I might as well enjoy that opus it lasted. Alice would spend the night with me if I was pathetic profuse to ask her to. And then tomorrow, Edward would be home. I would survive.not wanting to be ridiculously early for work, I ate my break dissolute sl owly, one Cheerio at a epoch. Then, when Id washed the dishes, I arranged the magnets on the fridge into a perfect line. mayhap I was developing obsessive-compulsive disorder.The last two magnets round black utilitarian tag ons that were my favorites because they could hold ten sheets of newspaper to the fridge without breaking a sweat did not want to cooperate with my fixation. Their polarities were reversed every c sass I tried to line the last one up, the early(a) poped out of place.For some tenability threatening mania, perhaps this really irritated me. Why couldnt they just play nice? Stupid with stubbornness, I unploughed shoving them together as if I was expecting them to all of a sudden give up. I could commit flipped one over, simply that snarl bid losing. Finally, exasperated at myself more than the magnets, I pulled them from the fridge and held them together with two gives. It in like mannerk a little effort they were strong plenteous to pitch up a fight hardly I laboured them to coexist side-by-side.See, I said out flashy talking to dyspneal objects, never a earnest sign Thats not so horrible, is it?I stood there desire an idiot for a second, not diverseness of able to admit that I wasnt having any constant effect against scientific principles. Then, with a sigh, I coif the magnets stomach on the fridge, a foot a intermit. in that respects no need to be so inflexible, I muttered.It was yet too early, but I decided Id expose get out of the house in the beginning the inanimate objects started talking ass.When I got to Newtons, Mike was methodically ironic mopping the gangboards patch his mom arranged a new counter display. I caught them in the centre of attention of an argument, unaware that I had arrived.But its the only time that Tyler notify go, Mike complained. You said afterward graduation -Youre just going to shoot to wait, Mrs. Newton snapped. You and Tyler can regain of something else to do. Yo u are not going to Seattle until the jurisprudence stop whatever it is that is going on there. I know Beth Crowley has told Tyler the said(prenominal) thing, so dont act like Im the bad guy oh, trustworthy morning, Bella, she said when she caught opinion of me, b mightylyening her tone rapidly. Youre early.Karen Newton was the last somebody Id mobilise to ask for help in an outdoor sports equipment store. Her perfectly highlighted ash-blonde hair was always smoothed into an luxe twist on the sustain of her neck, her fingernails were polished by professionals, as were her toenails visible through the strappy high heels that didnt resemble anything Newtons offered on the big row of hiking boots.Light traffic, I joked as I grabbed my hideous fluorescent chromatic vest out from under the counter. I was strike that Mrs. Newton was as worked up about this Seattle thing as Charlie. Id thought he was going to extremes.Well, er . . . Mrs. Newton hesitated for a moment, playin g uncomfortably with a stack of flyers she was arranging by the register.I stop with one work up in my vest. I knew that look.When Id let the Newtons know that I wouldnt be working here this summer abandoning them in their busiest season, in effect theyd started raising Katie Marshall to take my place. They couldnt really afford both(prenominal) of us on the payroll at the analogous time, so when it looked like a slow day . . .I was going to call, Mrs. Newton continued. I dont sound off were expecting a ton of business today. Mike and I can probably handle things. Im sorry you got up and drove out. . . .On a normal day, I would be ecstatic with this turn of events. Today . . . not so much.Okay, I sighed. My shoulders s ballocked. What was I going to do now?Thats not fair, Mom, Mike said. If Bella wants to work -No, its okay, Mrs. Newton. authentically, Mike. Ive got finals to occupy for and stuff. . . . I didnt want to be a reference bear witness of familial discord when they were already arguing.Thanks, Bella. Mike, you missed aisle four. Um, Bella, do you mind throwing these flyers in a Dumpster on the way out? I told the girl who left them here that Id put them on the counter, but I really dont have the room.Sure, no problem. I put my vest away, and then tucked the flyers under my arm and headed out into the misty rain.The Dumpster was around the side of Newtons, next to where we employees were supposed to park. I shuffled on, kicking pebbles petulantly on my way. I was about to fling the stack of bright white-livered papers into the trash when the heading printed in bold across the top caught my eye. One newsworthiness in particular seized my attention.I clutched the papers in both hands as I stared at the prototype beneath the caption. A lump rose in my throat.SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLF low the contrives, there was a detailed drawing of a wolf in front of a fir tree, its head thrown back in the act of baying at the moon. It was a disconcerting picture something about the wolfs plaintive posture made him look forlorn. uniform he was howling in grief.And then I was rill to my truck, the flyers notwithstanding locked in my grip.Fifteen minutes thats all I had. But it should be long enough. It was only fifteen minutes to La Push, and sure as shooting I would cross the boundary line a few minutes before I extend to the town.My truck roared to life without any difficulty.Alice couldnt have seen me doing this, because I hadnt been planning it. A snap decision, that was the severalise And as long as I moved fast enough, I should be able to capitalize on it.Id thrown the damp flyers in my haste and they were confounded in a bright mess across the passenger seat a hundred bolded captions, a hundred dark howling wolves outlined against the yellow background.I barreled down the wet highway, twist the windshield wipers on high and ignoring the groan of the antiquated engine. Fifty-five was the most I could coax out of my t ruck, and I prayed it would be enough.I had no intimation where the boundary line was, but I began to sapidity safer as I passed the first houses outside La Push. This must be beyond where Alice was allowed to follow.Id call her when I got to Angelas this afternoon, I reasoned, so that shed know I was fine. There was no reason for her to get worked up. She didnt need to be mad at me Edward would be angry enough for two when he got back.My truck was positively suspire by the time it grated to a stop in front of the familiar faded red house. The lump came back to my throat as I stared at the little place that had once been my refuge. It had been so long since Id been here.Before I could cut the engine, Jacob was standing in the door, his face blank with shock.In the sudden whitewash when the truck-roar died, I heard him gasp.Bella?Hey, JakeBella he yelled back, and the smile Id been waiting for stretched across his face like the sunbathe breaking free of the clouds. His teeth gl eamed bright against his russet skin. I cant believe itHe ran to the truck and half-yanked me through the open door, and then we were both jumping up and down like kids.How did you get here?I snuck outAwesomeHey, Bella wand had rolled himself into the gateway to see what all the commotion was about.Hey, Bil -Just then my air choked off Jacob grabbed me up in a bear hug too unshakable to breathe and swung me around in a circle.Wow, its full(a) to see you hereCant . . . breathe, I gasped.He anticed and put me down.Wel deal back, Bella, he said, grinning. And the way he said the words made it sound like get home.We started walking, too keyed up to sit lock in the house. Jacob was practically bouncing as he moved, and I had to remind him a few generation that my legs werent ten feet long.As we walked, I felt myself remittal into another version of myself, the self I had been with Jacob. A little younger, a little less responsible. Someone who might, on occasion, do something re ally stupid for no straightforward reason.Our exuberance lasted through the first few topics of conver sit downion how we were doing, what we were up to, how long I had, and what had brought me here. When I hesitantly told him about the wolf flyer, his bellowing laugh echoed back from the trees.But then, as we ambled past the back of the store and shoved through the thick scrub that circinate the far edge of First Beach, we got to the hard parts. All too soon we had to talk about the reasons freighter our long separation, and I watched as the face of my hero hardened into the bitter mask that was already too familiar.So whats the story, anyway? Jacob asked me, kicking a piece of driftwood out of his way with too much force. It sailed over the linchpin and then clattered against the rocks. I mean, since the last time we . . . well, before, you know . . . He struggled for the words. He took a racy breath and tried again. What Im asking is . . . everything is just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for all of that?I took a deep breath. There was nothing to forgive.I wanted to skip past this part, the betrayals, the accusations, but I knew that we had to talk it through before wed be able to move on to anything else.Jacobs face puckered up like hed just licked a lemon. I wish erupt-to-air missile had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A.Nobodys on trial.Maybe somebody should be.Not even you would blame him for deviation, if you knew the reason why.He glared at me for a few seconds. Okay, he challenged acidly. Amaze me.His uncongeniality was wearing on me chafing against the raw it injure to have him angry with me. It reminded me of the bleak afternoon, long ago, when under orders from surface-to-air missile hed told me we couldnt be friends. I took a second to pull up myself.Edward left me last fall because he didnt think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be he althier for me if he left.Jacob did a double take. He had to scramble for a minute. whatever hed been planning to say, it clearly no longer applied. I was glad he didnt know the catalyst underside Edwards decision. I could only imagine what hed think if he knew Jasper had tried to kill me.He came back, though, didnt he? Jacob muttered. besides bad he cant stick to a decision.If you remember, I went and got him. Jacob stared at me for a moment, and then he support off. His face relaxed, and his character was calmer when he spoke.Thats true. So I never did get the story. What happened?I hesitated, biting my lip.Is it a secret? His phonate took on a rally edge. Are you not allowed to tell me?No, I snapped. Its just a really long story.Jacob smiled, arrogant, and turned to walk up the beach, expecting me to follow.It was no fun world with Jacob if he was going to act like this. I trailed loafer him automatically, not sure if I shouldnt turn around and leave. I was going to have to face Alice, though, when I got home. . . . I supposed I wasnt in any rush.Jacob walked to a huge, familiar piece of driftwood an entire tree, root and all, bleached white and beached deep in the sand it was our tree, in a way.Jacob sat down on the natural bench, and patted the space next to him.I dont mind long stories. Is there any action?I rolled my eyes as I sat next to him. Theres some action, I allowed.It wouldnt be real horror without action.Horror I scoffed. Can you listen, or will you be interrupting me with rude comments about my friends? He pretended to lock his lips and then threw the invisible key over his shoulder. I tried not to smile, and failed.Ill have to start with the stuff you were already there for, I decided, working to organize the stories in my head before I began.Jacob raised his hand.Go ahead.Thats good, he said. I didnt understand much that was going on at the time.Yeah, well, it gets complicated, so pay attention. You know how Alice sees things?I too k his lour the wolves werent thrilled that the legends of vampires possessing supernatural gifts were true for a yes, and proceeded with the depict of my race through Italy to rescue Edward.I unbroken it as succinct as possible leaving out anything that wasnt essential. I tried to read Jacobs reactions, but his face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Edward plan to kill himself when hed heard that I was dead. Sometimes Jacob seemed so deep in thought, I wasnt sure if he was listening. He only interrupted one time.The fortune-telling parasite cant see us? he echoed, his face both fierce and gleeful. Seriously? Thats excellentI clutch my teeth together, and we sat in silence, his face heavy(p) as he waited for me to continue. I glared at him until he accomplished his mistake.Oops he said. Sorry. He locked his lips again.His response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. His teeth clutch together, goose bumps rose on his fortification, an d his nostrils flared. I didnt go into specifics, I just told him that Edward had talked us out of trouble, without uncover the promise wed had to make, or the visit we were anticipating. Jacob didnt need to have my nightmares.Now you know the whole story, I concluded. So its your turn to talk. What happened while I was with my mom this weekend? I knew Jacob would give me more details than Edward had. He wasnt afraid of scaring me.Jacob leaned forward, instantly animated. So Embry and Quil and I were running patrol on Saturday night, just routine stuff, when out of nowhere bam He threw his arms out, impersonating an explosion. There it is a fresh trail, not fifteen minutes old. surface-to-air missile wanted us to wait for him, but I didnt know you were gone, and I didnt know if your bloodsuckers were keeping an eye on you or not. So we took off after her at full speed, but shed crossed the agreement line before we caught up. We spread out along the line, hoping shed cross back o ver. It was frustrating, let me tell you. He wagged his head and his hair growing out from the small crop hed adopted when hed joined the pack flopped into his eyes. We ended up too far south. The Cullens chased her back to our side just a few miles unification of us. Would have been the perfect ambush if wed known where to wait.He agitate his head, grimacing now. Thats when it got dicey. Sam and the others caught up to her before we did, but she was dancing right along the line, and the whole coven was right there on the other side. The big one, whats-his-name -Emmett.Yeah, him. He made a lunge for her, but that red-header is fast He flew right behind her and almost rammed into capital of Minnesota. So, Paul . . . well, you know Paul.Yeah.Lost his focus. Cant say that I blame him the big bloodsucker was right on top of him. He sprang hey, dont give me that look. The vampire was on our land.I tried to compose my face so that he would go on. My nails were digging into my palm s with the stress of the story, even though I knew it had turned out fine.Anyway, Paul missed, and the big one got back on his side. But by then the, er, well the, uh, blonde . . . Jacobs recipe was a comical mix of disgust and backward admiration as he tried to come up with a word to describe Edwards sister.Rosalie.Whatever. She got real territorial, so Sam and I fell back to get Pauls flanks. Then their leader and the other blond male -Carlisle and Jasper.He gave me an exasperated look. You know I dont really care. Anyway, so Carlisle spoke to Sam, trying to calm things down. Then it was weird, because everyone got really calm really fast. It was that other one you told me about, messing with our heads. But even though we knew what he was doing, we couldnt not be calm.Yeah, I know how it palpates.Really annoying, thats how it feels. Only you cant be annoyed until afterwards. He shook his head angrily. So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victoria was the priority, and we starte d after her again. Carlisle gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then she hit the decreases just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the slideway for a few miles. She took off into the water again. The big one and the calm one wanted licence to cross the line to go after her, but of course we said no.Good. I mean, you were being stupid, but Im glad. Emmetts never cautious enough. He could have gotten hurt.Jacob snorted. So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven -No, I interrupted. Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details.Huh, Jacob said under his breath, and he bent over to pick up a rock from among the millions of pebbles at our feet. With a insouciant flick, he sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the bay. Well, shell be back, I guess. Well get another shot at her.I shuddered of course she would be back. Would Edward really tell me next time? I wasnt sure. I d have to keep an eye on Alice, to look for the signs that the pattern was about to repeat. . . .Jacob didnt seem to notice my reaction. He was staring across the waves with a serious-minded expression on his face, his broad lips pursed.What are you thinking about? I asked after a long, quiet time.Im thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought youd committed suicide, and how it all got out of control. . . . Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the bl Alice wouldnt have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. Wed probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldnt be any vampires in Forks, and you and me . . . He trailed off, deep in thought.It was disconcerting the way he said this, like it would be a good thing to have no vampires in Forks. My heart thumped unevenly at the emptiness of the picture he painted.Edward would have come back anyway.Ar e you sure about that? he asked, belligerent again as soon as I spoke Edwards name. beingness apart . . . It didnt work out so well for either of us.He started to say something, something angry from his expression, but he stopped himself, took a breath, and began again.Did you know Sam is mad at you?Me? It took me a second. Oh. I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasnt here.No. Thats not it.Whats his problem then?Jacob leaned down to scoop up another rock. He turned it over and over in his fingers his eyes were riveted on the black precious stone while he spoke in a low voice.When Sam saw . . . how you were in the beginning, when Billy told them how Charlie worried when you didnt get better, and then when you started jumping off cliffs . . .I made a face. No one was ever going to let me forget that.Jacobs eyes flashed up to mine. He thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of . . . betrayed that yo u would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you.I didnt believe for a second that Sam was the only one who felt that way. And the acid in my voice now was for both of them.You can tell Sam to go right to -Look at that, Jacob interrupted me, pointing to an eagle in the act of plummeting down toward the ocean from an incredible height. It study itself at the last minute, only its talons breaking the surface of the waves, just for an instant. Then it flapped away, its wings straining against the adulterate of the huge fish it had snagged.You see it everywhere, Jacob said, his voice suddenly distant. Nature taking its course hunter and prey, the deathless cycle of life and death.I didnt understand the point of the nature lecture I guessed that he was just trying to change the subject. But then he looked down at me with dark humor in his eyes.And yet, you dont see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle. You never see that. He grinned a mocking grin.I grinned back tightly, though the acid taste was still in my mouth. Maybe the fish was trying, I suggested. Its hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know.Is that what it comes down to? His voice was abruptly sharper. Good looks?Dont be stupid, Jacob.Is it the money, then? he persisted.Thats nice, I muttered, getting up from the tree. Im flattered that you think so much of me. I turned my back on him and paced away.Aw, dont get mad. He was right behind me he caught my wrist and spun me around. Im serious Im trying to understand here, and Im orgasm up blank.His eyebrows pushed together angrily, and his eyes were black in their deep shadow.I pick out him. Not because hes pulchritudinous or because hes rich I spat the word at Jacob. Id much rather he werent either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit because hed still be the most loving and unselfish and lustrous and decent person Ive ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?Its impossible to understand. please enlighten me, then, Jacob. I let the sarcasm flow rate thick. What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently Im doing it wrong.I think the outmatch place to start would be to look at bottom your own species. That usually works.Well, that just sucks I snapped. I guess Im stuck with Mike Newton after all.Jacob flinched back and bit his lip. I could see that my words had hurt him, but I was too mad to feel bad about that yet. He dropped my wrist and folded his arms across his chest, turning from me to glare toward the ocean.Im human, he muttered, his voice almost inaudible.Youre not as human as Mike, I continued ruthlessly. Do you still think thats the most important consideration?Its not the same thing. Jacob didnt look away from the gray waves. I didnt film this.I laughed once in disbelief. Do you think Edward did? He didnt know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didnt exactly sign up for this.Jacob was shiver his head back and forth with a small, quick movement.You know, Jacob, youre awfully self-righteous considering that youre a werewolf and all.Its not the same, Jacob repeated, glowering at me.I dont see why not. You could be a bit more agreement about the Cullens. You have no idea how sincerely good they are to the core, Jacob.He frowned more deeply. They shouldnt exist. Their domain goes against nature.I stared at him for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously. It was a while before he noticed.What?Speaking of unnatural . . . , I hinted.Bella, he said, his voice slow and different. Aged. I realized that he sounded suddenly older than me like a parent or a teacher. What I am was born in me. Its a part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a folk its the reason why were still here.Besides that he looked down at me, his black eyes ill-defined I am stillhuman.He picked up my hand and pressed it to his fever-warm chest. Throug h his t-shirt, I could feel the firm beating of his heart under my palm.Normal humanity cant throw motorcycles around the way you can.He smiled a faint, half-smile. Normal humans run away from monsters, Bella. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human.Staying angry with Jacob was too much work. I started to smile as I pulled my hand away from his chest.You look plenty human to me, I allowed. At the moment.I feel human. He stared past me, his face far away. His lower lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard.Oh, Jake, I whispered, reaching for his hand.This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didnt know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.